How Long, Lord?

I was doing some studying and meditating this morning and was writing some things out but decided that I could flow better if I just typed it out. Here are my thoughts:

In the book of Habakkuk and The prophet literally asks ALL of the questions that I have asked within my heart over the past year.  “How long, Lord?” “Why do you force me to look at injustice?” “Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?” On a daily basis I see things that look like and are in direct opposition to the character of God. All of the violence, injustice, and oppression that is taking place causes me to question why God being the loving and sovereign God that He is, would allow these things to happen? It has challenged my faith and caused me to doubt Him because I ask myself, ” How can I serve a God who would allow such heinous and gross injustice to seemingly prevail against His people?”

My heart has broken more times than I can count. When I thought that it was impossible for it to break anymore, it proved me wrong. I have cried and I have groaned. I have felt anger and rage so deep that it started to encase my heart in a impenetrable shroud of hatred because I wanted to know WHY and HOW. People are asking why and how and are not getting answers to these questions and it is causing an insurmountable amount of frustration and anger. But I think what keeps that shroud from completely enclosing me in is this phrase that resounds ever so sweetly within my heart. “For just a time as this…” Every time doubt and anger rises, that phrase rises up to combat it. It has been rolling over in my heart for a while now and I am getting a greater understanding of it each and every day. For just a time as this, that vision and purpose has been placed in your heart.

We can say what we want about 45, and many of us have a lot to say, but one thing I see resulting because of this administration is a resurgence of purpose. Because of the anger and uncertainty we are feeling, it is causing some of those old dreams to be stirred up again. Things that we were once so passionate about, but because of life, laziness, and complacency, we have allowed them to dwindle and become ashes in the corner of our hearts and the things that are happening today has caused a gust of wind to sweep through and ignite the fire again. Fear and anger is the catalyst that is causing purpose to burn again. For some of us, we would continue to go on with our daily lives day in and day out never even brushing up against destiny if we did not have something to provoke us to make a change.

Because of the threat that many will not have the ability to feed themselves and their family, there are people starting programs to combat that. Because of the senseless and unjustifiable murders that have taken place, there are people starting to step into roles of county and state officials in order to combat that. Because of the threat of there being no way for our children to get the education that they need, there are people coming together to build schools to combat that! For millennials, because our ability to make it and the possibility that a debt free life will never be in reach for us, many of us are coming up with new and inventive ways to make it happen. Purpose is being awakened. People are being awakened.

Do  you not know  the answers that are held up in you? Do you not know the GLORY that is housed within you? When God created man, He breathed his very essence within us! So God, being God and all that He is, put all of that in you and I and we have the nerve not to manifest it. Whether you are a believer or not, there was something placed on the inside of you the moment you were conceived. That something is the solution for every situation that is arising today and it is selfish of us not to manifest it.

People are crying out and asking, “why, why, why?” And it is because purpose is calling and we won’t answer. Ask yourself, how many people are going without because I won’t start doing what is in my heart to do? How many laws could I have helped change? How many people could I have helped feed? How many children could I have educated? The moment you answer purpose is the moment that the answer starts to manifest.

I have been asking, “How long, Lord?” and He answered, “For however long you allow it…”

 

Be blessed.

Be Encouraged.

Have you encouraged someone today? If you have, how did it make you feel? If you haven’t, I encourage you to do so. You never really know how close someone is to giving up. That small moment that you take to speak life into someone else could be what keeps them from forfeiting their dream.

I’m a very observant person and I do a lot of people watching. I tend to spend a lot of time alone going to the movies, restaurants, the park, and many other places and if I am not engrossed in a book or lost in thought, I take a moment to put my phone down, and just watch. I take in how people move, how they respond to the elements around them, how they talk, if they smile, if they seem approachable, their disposition, and if I can tell just who that person is just by observing. As I’m sitting, I’ll find someone to focus on and I always ask myself, ” I wonder what God created them to do?” “What is their story?” “Are they operating in their purpose?” and if not, “Why not?” I will sit there and try to answer all these questions and build this life for this person where in the end they are living such a fulfilled and happy life. I know that if the subject of my observation ever locked eyes with me they would probably think I was weird because I realize that as I get to the end of their fictitious life, I am smiling. I’m smiling because they did it! They have accomplished what was in their hearts to accomplish and they are leaving this life completely emptied out because they have deposited their gifts into the world to benefit all that will come after them.

I am so intrigued with destiny and purpose because for so long I did not know why I was here. I struggled for years after high school because I was never taught how to take the time out to discover what I was passionate about and how to flow in that. For a few years, it was all about trying to survive and grasping at things to fill me that ultimately  turned out to leave me even more empty than before. So that eventually led to depression. But it was strange because I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I just could not figure out how to get there. It’s like seeing hope, faith, peace, joy, and fulfillment, but feeling as if you will never be able to obtain it. It frustrates you and, if you are not careful, can make you angry. Nothing good can be produced out of anger.

So now, because I have gone through that, it is easy to see when someone is in that place in life. I have been on the sidelines rooting people on from a distance because I know how it feels to feel like you are not going to make it. I now know that although that is admirable and the intention behind that is good, that benefits no one. Why do you think life coaches and motivational speakers are as prevalent today as they are? Because sometimes all people need is for someone to tell them that they can do it. People need to feel like someone is on their side and that they are not in this thing alone. No, you should not build your life on if someone says “job well done” or not. But it surely makes it a little bit easier to keep going when it is said. You never know how mountainous that cloud of doubt in someone’s life is. And that moment that you take to speak an encouraging word to that person could be the penetrating force that allows some light in.

I am purposing and challenging myself now to speak life to people when I sense that someone may need a little extra motivation. There are some amazing gifts and talents locked up in people and I think that it is time that they are unlocked. We need them, and we NEED you. I encourage you to encourage others and speak life from this day forward.

Peace & Blessings.

Bedtime Thoughts. 

I’m currently preparing to call it a night and as usual I’m having full dialogues and conversations in my head. Playing out scenes and scenarios that would never happen but it helps to excerise my imagination so I’ll let it play until I fall asleep.

As I’m laying out clothes for tomorrow’s workday I have this thought that interrupts all my other thoughts…

“It’s not me doubting God, it’s me doubting myself in Him. I have this deep inner knowing that He is the one true living God, so that’s not in question. The wavering in faith and all of the doubts that I often times have is in the fact that He, being all that He is, wants me. Fully and completely. Messed up, flawed, and all. Me. I KNOW that He can do all things but can He do them through me?”

I don’t know. I tell myself, “even me, Lord, even me. I know that you can use even me.” but do I really believe it? Not really. Maybe in a moment of excitement and zeal. But, once that moment fades…

Maybe one day I’ll really see that even me.

Yet and Still, Life is Good.

Goodnight✨